Dear Oscar...

Dear Oscar telecast producers/writers/directors:

I have a few suggestions on how to make the telecast more palatable, and thus increase your ratings (which is what it's all about, right?):

1. If you must have an announcer, please find one who can actually pronounce the words she is given to announce. I heard her say "best pitcher" and "Barber Streisand." Come on.

2. Just say "no" when it comes to musical and/or dance numbers. Really. I love Neil Patrick Harris, but it serves no useful purpose other than to bloat the telecast. I'd rather get to bed fifteen minutes earlier, thank you very much. And that dance number was just bizarre; it had nothing to do with any of the movies it was supposed to be representing.

3. Hosts singling out guests and making fun of them is not funny. Well, mostly not funny. You should be going for class, not embarrassment.

4. Speaking of hosts, one is sufficient. Really. Preferably one with some class. He'd never do it, but George Clooney would be perfect.

5. I understand wanting to appeal to the younger demographic, but could you try and find some young people with a little personality? The brooding look doesn't translate to the over-15 crowd very well.

6. Please tell your musical director that "I am Woman" was not the appropriate music to be playing for the first woman to win the Best Director award. If you can't figure out why, it's time for sensitivity training, bub.

7. Cutting off the mics and starting to play music to cut short thank-you speeches is just plain rude, especially when you don't do it to the Big Stars at the end of the show. The guy who won best short documentary (or whatever) is just as proud as Jeff Bridges.

8. Long dresses + high heels + moving staircases = recipe for disaster. Just sayin'.

Respectfully yours,
LizzieBelle

Dear Oscar...

Dear Oscar telecast producers/writers/directors:

I have a few suggestions on how to make the telecast more palatable, and thus increase your ratings (which is what it's all about, right?):

1. If you must have an announcer, please find one who can actually pronounce the words she is given to announce. I heard her say "best pitcher" and "Barber Streisand." Come on.

2. Just say "no" when it comes to musical and/or dance numbers. Really. I love Neil Patrick Harris, but it serves no useful purpose other than to bloat the telecast. I'd rather get to bed fifteen minutes earlier, thank you very much. And that dance number was just bizarre; it had nothing to do with any of the movies it was supposed to be representing.

3. Hosts singling out guests and making fun of them is not funny. Well, mostly not funny. You should be going for class, not embarrassment.

4. Speaking of hosts, one is sufficient. Really. Preferably one with some class. He'd never do it, but George Clooney would be perfect.

5. I understand wanting to appeal to the younger demographic, but could you try and find some young people with a little personality? The brooding look doesn't translate to the over-15 crowd very well.

6. Please tell your musical director that "I am Woman" was not the appropriate music to be playing for the first woman to win the Best Director award. If you can't figure out why, it's time for sensitivity training, bub.

7. Cutting off the mics and starting to play music to cut short thank-you speeches is just plain rude, especially when you don't do it to the Big Stars at the end of the show. The guy who won best short documentary (or whatever) is just as proud as Jeff Bridges.

8. Long dresses + high heels + moving staircases = recipe for disaster. Just sayin'.

Respectfully yours,
LizzieBelle